Author Archives: comedybytes
Opinion: Trump Wins Second Term
“Every rapist, felon, adulterer, who tried to destroy Democracy deserves a second chance”
“Definitely a DEI hire”
“Declaring war on another country should be renamed to ‘Grab Them By The P*ssy'”
Magnus: “You lost on the first move you made”
Opponent: “When I moved my Knight to c3?”
Magnus: “No, when you sat down”
Same recipe we’ve been using here at Logan’s since 1933. Same recipe, same marble slab, same hook on the wall, same stove, same heater and same underwear.
My daily bowel movement
Modern Recipes
Dr. Fauci was hospitalized with West Nile virus
“Nothing a little Ivermectin won’t clear up”
“He will need one dose of the Moderna vaccine. A Pfizer booster in a week, another Moderna two hours after that, two Johnson & Johnson boosters 5 minutes after that and a Pfizer booster suppository just to be safe”
“Maybe he can try nuking the virus”
“Welcome back, comrades. This van will take you to the front.”
What a surprise. He really comes across as a health nut.
The random news story generator malfunctioned.
“Can I have 30 milkshakes and one straw? Does anyone else want something?”
I wonder which “streaming giant” it is?
This is how I order at Taco Bell
Why I voted for Trump
Seems like they would run faster if they removed those obstacles they have to jump over.
North Korean’s reaction that Kim Jong-Il was still alive after it was reported he had died.
This is like someone with a broken leg helping someone missing a foot, climb a mountain.
What’s next? A “pro cancer” event?
I finally have something in common with a US President.
Fun fact: Microsoft decided on the name “Windows” because of the glasses Bill wore in this interview.
Someone should just tell this blind guy it’s a rifle.
“Someone get the attention of the hot dog guy”
Breaking News: Putin cites shortage of Klondike Bars as reason for invasion of Ukraine.
“You should have seen the look on their faces. We told them it was only a training exercise!”
His bowel movements are designated as a “Special Military Operation”
Movie premieres seem to mostly be people standing around not knowing exactly what to do or where to go.
So much talent and effort goes in to ultimately making poop
That walker should have been nominated for a Best Supporting Actor award
